The Grand Old Party is at it again, proving their unmatched talent for whipping up a moral panic. Their latest target? Not a real threat, but James Comey’s Instagram post of seashells spelling “8647.”
While some of us saw beach art, the GOP saw a coded message, a deep-state conspiracy, or maybe a secret order for jumbo shrimp. Regardless, the outrage machine immediately revved up. Calls for Comey’s arrest and investigations into marine life swiftly followed.
Here’s where the snark hits overdrive. The right-wing echo chamber was clutching its pearls over a few shells, while ignoring the real, verifiable death threats and calls for murder against Democrats. Remember the fantasies about guillotines, the graphic online threats, and the constant barrage of violent rhetoric aimed at political opponents? Crickets. Absolute, deafening crickets from the same folks demanding Comey be perp-walked for beach decor.
It’s truly a marvel. The GOP’s outrage-o-meter is exquisitely calibrated for maximum performative indignation over perceived slights, while remaining utterly dormant when it comes to actual threats to democracy and human lives. Their concern for “safety” seems entirely dependent on who’s doing the “threatening” and who’s being “threatened.”
When a Democrat faces a credible death threat, fueled by right-wing rhetoric, the response is a shrug or an accusation of victim-playing. But let Comey arrange some seashells, and suddenly we’re on the precipice of a constitutional crisis! The rule of law is under attack! Calls for his immediate incarceration echo across the airwaves.
This isn’t about protecting anyone or upholding civility. It’s about controlling the narrative and demonizing opponents. It’s a transparent distraction from the dangerous consequences of their own inflammatory rhetoric. They light the fuse, then clutch their pearls when a fire starts, all while pointing fingers at someone holding artistic mollusks.
So, to the brave soldiers of the outrage brigade, dissecting Comey’s shellfish for hidden meaning: perhaps redirect that energy. There’s a whole ocean of real hateful rhetoric and violent incitement out there, just waiting for your moral compass to finally point in the right direction.
